It's not strength, what I have.

I have a lot of people that are telling me that they admire my strength, or that they are proud of me for getting through this deployment and taking care of the girls so well, and while its flattering, and it definitely makes me feel stronger than I am, I don't think that me handling this is because I am strong. I have seen many women that I would consider stronger than me go through deployments and some made it and some didn't. Some people are better equipped to deal with the stress and the emotions that I am too. I am making it, and I am GOING to make it, because my husband is something I cannot live without. Maybe that is my strength, my love, but thats really all that I can say that I know is my light through this. I love Brandon. Truly, unconditionally, and completely. I can't see a day where I would want to be without him. I can't imagine looking into the eyes of anyone else while I am going through labor, I can't imagine someone else having their arms around me while I sleep at night, I can't imagine going through life, watching my daughters grow hand in hand with any one, but him. I know in my heart and in my head that a year without him is better than a hundred with someone that could never be to me what he is. I would, quite literally, wait forever for this man, if it meant that I could have him back with me. I am so in love that a skype chat keeps me warm at night, and a facebook message keeps a smile on my face all day. I honestly feel like this deployment is going to last forever some days, and I have to admit, i get overwhelmed with how much I miss him. But that just further lets me know that we belong together, and that waiting this small portion of forever for him to come home is totally worth the sadness, frustration, and loneliness that I have, and will encounter through this process. My love is the strongest part of me, its like a muscle that I constantly flex, because I am so proud and happy with the results of the hard work and dedication that Brandon and I have put into it. So it might not be strength, but its more than enough.