Standards.

  This blog is about, you guessed it, having standards. We (should) all have them, what we are looking for in the relationships that we have with other people, what will will accept and what we won't accept. I, for one, do not accept people calling me a bitch, at all. Its not ok, and yes, you will get slapped if you say it to me (well maybe not slapped but I will let you know that its not going to fly).  I also value honestly, intelligence, a sense of humor, and a love of movies and God. Basically, we have to vibe on a purely personality level. I would never choose my friends based on their looks, what they wear, our what race they are, hell even if you don't believe in God, we can be friends, but don't disrespect my beliefs and I won't disrespect yours you know? It has always astounded me that men and women have standards for their friends that they will and won't accept, and when it comes to their gf/bf, husband/ wife, all that goes out the window. Of course you have to be willing to understand that arguments happen, and that if you call it quits after every argument, you'll never be happy, or keep a relationship for that matter; but there has to be standards. If you wouldn't let your friend call you bitch as a joke, why would you let your man? If you wouldn't let another person hit you, why should he be exempt from your standards? Women we aren't innocent either. If your significant other wouldn't be cool with someone else cussing him out, you probably shouldn't do it either, do unto others and all that, remember? I just think that we should hold those that we are in love with to a higher standard than other people. They are the most important people in your life because they treat you the best, and love you the best, not because you are willing to put up with more shit from than than anyone else. Deployment is no exception. Why let your spouse treat you a different way when they are gone than they would if they are home? Don't give me the whole, what if something happens bs, because I can be pretty sure that they would rather die knowing that you loved them the same before, during, and after the deployment (maybe a little more after), than knowing that you were totally fine with them walking all over you because you were too scared to tell them what you really think and feel. A deployment is a time for growth and learning, not to forget what your standards and beliefs are. If they think they can get away with it while they are gone, what makes you think that its going to change when they get home? It won't. If you don't speak your mind and stand up for yourself, no one will. There is a difference between nagging and bitching, and just making sure that you are treated the way that you deserve. Don't forget your standards, and don't accept less than the best from the people that you think the world of. No one is perfect, by any means.  There will be times when the standards aren't followed by friends, family, or spouses, but if they make a mistake and learn from it, if they are usually perfect and are willing to admit when they are wrong, that is a good standard in a person too. One of my new favorite quotes is , "love is fragile, and we're not always the best caretakers,we just muddle through and do the best we can, and hope this fragile thing survives against all odds." This is a perfect quote because it's basically saying that as a human we should know that we are going to make mistakes, but we have to be willing to do what we can to make love survive against all odds, and having standards and keeping them, helps to put some cushion around the love that is so fragile. Even if the box gets dropped here and there, there is padding and support to keep it alive.