people want to know

So when we found out that we were having Dru, we waited a good, 8 weeks to tell people. I know a lot of people were wondering why, and there are actually quite a few reasons. This first is pretty simple, there are like 20 other people that we know that are having kids within three months of us, so we just didn't want to get classified as just another pregnant family! Also, that being said, we were willing to wait to share our news, so that others could share theirs without having to share the spotlight. Another reason is that, well, we wanted to be selfish! We wanted to share it with each other and just kind of celebrate as a little family that we were going to be making three, four. One thing that cracks me up is people thinking that we were not telling people because we weren't happy, or that we didn't want her. Dru has been wanted since day one, even if she wasn't planned. But honestly, to me, the thought of having another baby scared me to death. I mean, we are living in a different country for heavens sake. Its just the four of us, and no family. We are an army family, and some people seem to forget what that means. It means that in a twelve month period, we are lucky.. LUCKY... if Brandon is home for 9 months out of the year because of training and all that. in a bad year, well, he could be deployed and we could spend the whole year without him. I am about to embark on something that goes even further into what I never expected to do in life than I have already had to deal with. Its easy to look at a dad and just write the guy off for missing a year in the lives of his kids because he walks out on you and them. Its excruciating to look a year alone in the face because your husband is a soldier and he HAS to leave, not because he wants to not because its a way out, but because its his job. Can you imagine being Brandon right know? Knowing that he isn't going to be a constant presence in the lives of his girls, unless its through webcam if the option is available? Our lives are so topsy turvy all the time, and the only thing that's constant is change. So yeah I was a little bit scared, when I found out Dru was coming, who wouldn't be? Right after she arrives we have to say goodbye to daddy for at least 4 weeks because he has training, and then we just have to hope that a deployment doesn't solidify in the near future, amidst all the rumors swirling around.  My question is, how many women do you know that give birth, and then are expected to take care of two children without the help of the father or family, not many right?? This is just something that we have to try to come to terms with everyday, and try to live in the moment so that the time that we do get, is good time, and time that when those separations do arrive, we can look back on and remember so that we have something to hold onto when the loneliness threatens to overtake us. I guess this blog isn't exactly one that is "happy" or upbeat, but maybe it will give some insight to our lives, and why we make some of the choices that we make, and maybe, just maybe, some understanding.