aloha r&r

 The girls and I made it to the states and we are really enjoying the relaxation and comforts of being with Brandon's family. It was a long trip over this time, but so far its been worth it. The kids got a ton of new clothes, thanks in part to a storewide 12.99 and under sale at gymboree. I got them the cutest little 4th of July outfits! I cannot wait for the 4th of July. I get to spend my favorite holiday with my favorite people, my little family will be all together for Brandon's r&r and we will be celebrating on the beaches of Oahu. I can't even decribe how excited I am for the upcoming weeks because I have been looking forward to them since the day that Brandon left. The last time we were in Hawaii was for our honeymoon, I was young and so in love, spending a week on the beach with the best man in the world, being told by Brandon's grandma that I couldn't hike Diamond Head, or stay on the beach too long because it  might hurt my Gaby belly. We had so much fun and its going to be so crazy to go back with not one, but two little beauties to enjoy the sights with us.

I have a million plans that I know that we will probably not be able to do, but I can't wait to attempt them all. I want to see my babies play in the beach on waikiki and take them to the zoo. I want to para sail with brandon and go on a dinner luau. I really want to take the kids to get little nothings at the ABC stores and let them watch the guy that makes real art with spray paint and garbage. I want to fall asleep and wake up with Brandon's arms around me and take a million pictures of my husband with his daughters. I want to watch Gaby and Dru chase the little crabs into their holes on the beach like Brandon and I did on our honeymoon and watch my babies walk out on the beach at night with them.

More than anything I just want the closeness that I have been missing the last 6 months. I long for the intimacy that I have been missing, and not even just the physical type. I want to lay in bed and talk to my husband the way we do every night when he is home and talk about everything and anything, and just laugh and kiss and feel like we're the only two people in the world. I can't wait to share these moments with him that he has been missing, let him watch Gaby dance and sing and watch Dru try to walk around and them play together, and not in a picture or a video on facebook or skype. I can't wait to see him interact with them, because keeping a father like Brandon away from his kids is the worst type of torture. He is the best father that I could ever ask for for my children, and I know that he deserves more than a few school projects, pictures and videos sent to afghanistan in a tough box. Its going to be so great to celebrate Dru's birthday with him, even if its a week early, he will get to be in her pictures and see her blow out her candle (which is something we need to start working on actually).

I am dreading the day that he has to go back, almost more than the first time that he left. I hate knowing that he will be safe and happy with us, and that I have to allow him to go back there. But I have faith in God that he will be there to help us all threw the rest of this deployment and keep Brandon safe, and bring him home healthy, happy and whole as soon as possible. Some days, I sit and think about how hard it will be to let him leave and it clouds the fact that I get those precious few days to spend with him and our daughters, and I hope that I don't allow that to be in my head while he is here, because I just want to focus on the moment and enjoy him being there, in our own little paradise, together.